so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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