I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
