That's when you crack a 10am beer
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
