Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
