I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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