just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
