this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
