umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
