I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
