we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
