We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
