Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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