Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
