sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Vodka?
Forever.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
