Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
