i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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