he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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