Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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