So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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