She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
