There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
