You're my little dorito
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
