I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
