Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
