I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
