Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
