I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
