I'm drive I can fine osifer
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
