Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
