It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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