is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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