he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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