So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
only you would photoshop your dick
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
