Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
