I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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