I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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