You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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