Screwed.edu
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize