You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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