I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize