OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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