Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Randomize
