I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
