And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
