Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
