I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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