hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
