You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were trust falling into bushes
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
