So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They took my balls.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
