do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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