I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
