So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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