Your mouth is God's brothel.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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