Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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