Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
