I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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