Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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