Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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