she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
