Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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