he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
