sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
