talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
