if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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