He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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