Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
