i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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